Benjy Joseland is making a habit of this. Four more tries against Manly - eight in his last three games and 10 in the last four - and defenders are starting to look genuinely lost trying to line him up. Hunter copped an absolute hiding at home against Easts, who've now put on 109 points across their last two games while conceding just 7 - form that's hard to ignore this deep into the season. Elsewhere, Eastwood and Gordon served up the tightest, ugliest, most enjoyable arm-wrestle of the round in what was, without argument, game of the round. Add in a Battle of the West classic and Warringah grinding out a result against a stubborn Norths, and you've got yourself Round 12.

Manly v Sydney University
Uni def Manly 48-40

Joey Fowler had a penalty from in front to open the account but missed. Ouchie. 'Twas the sexiest display of hands that gave us the opening try from the Students, and everyone's favourite summertime seed fruit, Joe 'Mango' Manglesdorf, opened the account. Manly replied immediately - good aggressive carry from Ben Di Staso, offloaded to Charlie Poynton, try time. Will Kaye converted. Four minutes later they were in again, Meli Dreu sliced through on an inside ball and Stuart Tualima scored. Kaye converted. In a serious turn of pace, Benjy Joseland took off from 65 out and burned absolutely everyone. Fowler converted. Four minutes later, Joseland had his second - another showcase of great hands from 1-15 and he was in the corner. Joseland's hat-trick came with five to play, offloaded to him in the corner - three in 30 minutes. Fowler converted. Manly rolled those big bodies round the corner, Joe Dillon was tackled mid-kick but still got the grubber away and Oliver Horne was in. Kaye converted. Three the difference. Halftime.

Billy Dickens retook the lead for Manly - in a clinical rendition of American Sniper he gave his best Chris Kyle, sniping at the ruck and straight through. In the words of the greatest game ever made, Rugby '08, "he doesn't miss those." Kaye converted. Third lead change. A cut-out pass from Tom Curtis to James McGregor put Uni in front by one point. Fowler converted. Three now the difference. Boston Fakafanua offloaded to Joseland who raced home from 78 metres - eight tries in the last three games. That makes me sick. Fowler converted. Four minutes after that, Manly's Jordan Holgate crashed over. Kaye converted. McGregor put in the naughtiest of grubbers to Fakafanua, who increased the lead to 10 points. Fowler converted. TURKEY GATE: off the kick-off a rogue bush turkey had rushed the field and got the scare of its life as a looming restart and subsequent converging of ghastly humans competed for the ball. The turkey, right in the mixer. I won't lie, talk about a show stealer. Manly replied with a delicious scrum attack and Kaye went over to close the gap. Last action of the game, Curtis slotted three points to deny the losing bonus point to Manly. Fulltime.

Hunter v Eastern Suburbs
Beasties def Wildfires 62-0

Talk about a tough day for Hunter. Five in, Jack Bowen went into the corner. 10 minutes later, finding soft edges, Easts rolled around the corner and Ollie Dawkins finished off some tasty hands. Bowen converted. Naughty boy Will Harris was sent for repeated infringements, and Hunter were primed to score - however, not to be. Jimmy Hokafonu scored Easts' third. Bowen converted. Easts were getting too much pay from close range and Jamie Adamson crossed over. Bowen converted. It's hard to say the cause of the bleeding but Hunter couldn't seem to stop it. Halftime.

When it rains, it pours. Two minutes into the second, Hunter went a man down - naughty boy Jack Daly, I'm assuming, sent for slapping the ball down, though the superman dive was 10/10. Easts scored again, Jack Nelson-Murray the scorer. Minutes later Teddy Wilson scooted down the edge, no one home, and went over. Bowen converted. Wilson then popped over a cheeky box kick and Bowen raced in for his second. Bowen converted. Nathaniel Tiitii stamped his mark off the bench, bringing up the 50 for Easts. Sid Harvey converted. Jamie Adamson broke six tackles to put Beasties back on the front foot. Chris Bell put in a pinpoint cross-field kick and Freedom Vahaakolo scooped it up and put it down. With 10 to go, Charlie O'Kane plopped over for try number 10. James Wayland was shown a stinky slice of Vieux Boulogne for a love tap to the head. Naughty, naughty. That's all folks. Easts have now scored 109 points in two games and conceded just 7. Fulltime.

Northern Suburbs v Warringah
Rats def Norths 29-15

Inside the opening 10, Norths took the lead with a Robbie McIntosh penalty. 10 minutes later Rats hit back with that freight train of a rolling maul, Zac Barnabas the recipient. Rats sniffed out another opportunity and once they get going, good luck. Charlie McKill finished off a battering from the forwards. The Italian Stallion, Seb Zaridze converted. With two to go Norths’ scrum was dominating, they showed good patience and the execution to match, and Benji Hoppe went into the corner. Halftime.

Wes Thomas showed a serious pair of heels for a big man early in the second. A tasty inside ball at the ruck and Thomas raced around the last defender and under the pointy things. Zaridze converted. It was the grungiest of grungy games this one. Warringah the dominant side but Norths weren’t going away. 15 to go and 11 points the difference, Rats’ forward pack were back on the prowl. Thomas got his double shortly after. Pure unadulterated power as he smashed over. Zaridze converted. Minutes later Norths broke free, and Nathan Russell went through out of nowhere to close the lead. McIntosh converted. Discipline was an ongoing issue for Norths this day - a silly tackle off the ball and Zaridze knocked over an easy three. Fulltime.

Randwick v Southern Districts
Wicks def Souths 40-26

The Rebels struck first - held up after seven minutes, but showing great shape and speed around the corner, Jacob Prlja soon crashed over. Blaise Barnes converted. Randwick almost replied but Gage Philips, with 10 metres of space to score, tried to run over the covering defender instead - knock-on. Ky Willoughby, what a tackle. With five to go Wicks hunted again and it didn't take long - Michael Melia crashed over. Felix Turinui converted. Last play of the half, Wicks found try number two - slick interchange between forwards and Max Moore went over. Turinui converted. Halftime.

In under two minutes in the second, Randwick found themselves a metre out. Furious all the try scorers had been forwards, Turinui took off dead straight and crossed the chalk despite three bodies waiting for him. Souths have a knack for not going away, and a scrumptious chip kick from Barnes saw Tsuyoshi Jennings close the gap. Barnes converted. Five the difference with 30 to go, Randwick's maul made good metres, helped by soft Souths' shoulders in defence. Tim Sippel squeezed through two defenders, offloaded to the Bobcat Oniti Finau, and he was in. Turinui converted. Jonny Chan, aptly dubbed the Bulldozer, steamed through two defenders at the lineout and two more to score. Turinui converted. Souths rolled their maul 20 metres out, and poor discipline from Wicks gave away a penalty try and another naughty boy. Constandinos Begetis, best name in the Shute Shield, sent for maul technicalities above my paygrade. 12 the difference with three to play, Wicks streamed through at the lineout to go on the front foot. A dubious cross-field from Turinui bounced horrendously for Isaac Kneepkens, turning him inside out, and Tas Smith had the choccies. Turinui converted. Souths showed 'ticker' until she sung. Barnes finished off a well-worked attack. Fulltime.

Western Sydney v West Harbour
Two Blues def Pirates 40-36

Another rendition of the Battle of the West served up a cracker. 60 seconds in and Liam Lord had already crossed for Two Blues, scooping up an overthrow at the lineout and bashing over. Reece Suesue converted. Minutes later Pirates were awarded their first, Titi Satuala burrowing in. Hunter Hannaford converted. Jeremiah Raniga went straight through untouched to take the lead for the Pirates. Hannaford converted. Two Blues' Mesu Dolokoto went straight through Harbour's defence from 5 out to score. Suesue converted. When Harbour gave away a penalty for not releasing, simple hands put Christian Papa in the corner to increase the lead. Suesue converted. Taukihaamea Koloamatangi was naughty boy number one - unlucky victim of too many penalties, but it's still illegal. Harbour down to 14 with 9 to go, Two Blues went to the lineout and Dolokoto had two. Suesue converted. Despite a man down, Raniga produced the sexiest display of footwork, stepping his way through four to score. Hannaford converted. Halftime.

It took a while but Harbour was first to strike in the second - Aidan Wearne went over with his own superman attempt. 5/10. Hannaford converted. All square with 19 to play, Hannaford slotted a penalty from 45 out. Not bad, maestro. Minutes later, Rilloy Suesue gave his best MVG impression, the nine darting through the gap for try time. Suesue converted. Nine to play and four in front, Isaac Te Temaki stepped his way over for Two Blues. It wouldn't be a BOTW without some last-minute hugs and kisses. Harbour's Matt Whelan was sent for taking out a player in the air, and Two Blues' Cruise Dunster followed him - I'm kidding, he whacked him in the back of the head. Naughty boys. Lolagi Visinia joined them on the naughty step for a tantrum for the ages. Clock in the red, a big cutout pass was snatched by Raniga, who raced home 60 metres to give Pirates the losing bonus point. Fulltime.

Eastwood v Gordon
Stags def Woods 15-7

Oh me, oh my was this a tight one. It took 15 minutes but eventually Siketi Tevao got his first. Gordon shifting the ball from edge-to-edge, Connor Hickey then running back into the middle of the field, pass goes out wide and Tevao was in. 10 minutes later Spinks - the current top point scorer - knocked over a penalty from right in front. Stags dominated the first half and their maul with two to play increased their lead. Tevao bagged his double. Spinks converted. She was ugly but effective, nonetheless. Fifteen the difference. Halftime.

Woods came out flying in the second half. You can only imagine the halftime spray to spur the lads into gear. Isaac Crowe almost crossed after three minutes but he was pulled down a metre short. Desperate not to face the music again at fulltime, the Eastwood pack flew around the corner. Jhy Legg, who has continuously scored when needed for Woods, did so again. Under the sticks. A goalkicker’s wet dream. Brad Roderick-Evans converted. With 25 to go, former Woods player, Lachie Albert, was sent for tackling a player on the ground - I don’t know, I don’t make the rules. Wowwee, you should have heard the Eastwood faithful as he jogged to the sideline - naughty boy and he certainly knew about it. Six to play and Eastwood continued to stay on top of Gordon. Stags kept giving away penalties. Five to play and Lachie Shelley had a penalty to close the gap to five points. 25 out and in front. Missed. Ouchie. A bloody, violent battle. Fulltime. Game of the round.